Big Fes

Who is my favorite Jazz player, you ask? D-Will? Booz-ah? NO! My favorite player on the Jazz is none other than Kyrylo Fesenko, the 7'1" 300 lbs. Ukranian. Big Fes, as I call him, has captured my heart during this years playoffs. Not only has he stepped in for my man Memo, but he has thrown down at least one back-breaking thunder DUNK every game and has now started to hit his free throws. It has become my mission in life to become friends with this gentle giant. From what I've been able to find out, the Fes Man lives at the Gateway and doesn't drive. This means that he takes the bus/Trax to get around. I have it on good authority that he frequents the Jimmy Johns on 4th South. Wouldn't being friends with Fes be freakin' tight?! I mean, think about it... clubbing with Fes, picking up chicks with Fes, even bowling with Fes. Any activity takes on a whole new meaning when you add in a giant Ukranian. If anyone has any tips on how we can become BFFFF's, let me know!


you can't contain this