All-Stars

During my year at the BYU, Aaron and I came up with a saying to describe some of the guys we routinely saw at parties or in our wards that all seemed alike in their d-bagness. This phrase has caught on and now I hear it often when I happen to be in Provo. While they come in different variations, here are the qualifications of a "Provo All-Star."

1. Is from "The OC", northern Utah, or the East Coast.
2. Is 25 years old or older and STILL hasn't graduated.
3. Tends to be "taking the semester off"... right.
4. Lives at Belmont, Alpine Village, or Arlington.
5. Wouldn't be caught dead without his designer jeans (usually True Religion or Rock & Republic)
6. tight V-neck.... check.
7. is seen with the other All-Stars everywhere he goes (dance parties, Spoon Me, ward activities)
8. Generally dates freshman
9. Drives his daddy's BMW/Range Rover
10. lives and dies by doing summer sales

If someone you know has 2 or more of the characteristics, odds are that they also have the rest. It's uncanny.

For those of you from St. George, here is a list detailing the "St. George All-Stars"

1. are RM's and STILL going to Dixie
2. either don't have a job or work at Fabulous Freddys'
3. wouldn't be caught dead without their Affliction and Filter shirts (did they bedazzle their own shirts??)
4. hang out with high school girls
5. since they don't work, they go to the gym twice a day
6. constantly tan (from the tanning beds)
7. live at home
8. love their M.E.K. or Rock Revival jeans
9. talk CONSTANTLY about moving "up north" but will never do it
10. are generally worthless bums